Thursday, April 21, 2011

About Me

I'm having a blog Identity Crisis. I don't want to write just another Mommy Blog, because I am still trying to fit myself into the mommy mold and figure out what the heck I'm supposed to do. My blog can't just be another online rant by a student in law school or a cooking blog. It's all of those and more.

And beyond my blog identity crisis, I feel that I too am struggling to determine who I am.

I’m trying to find a balance between being a wife; brand new mom; career woman; law student; Christian; Daughter; homeowner; writer; gardener; reader, baker; quilter.

Its been a struggle, and I’ve contemplated quitting the blog altogether. I've struggled, as I feel like my blog has no focus, no central theme. Should I have several blogs or none at all? But then I realized that I write my blog for me, and it is a reflection of me right now. Scattered. All over the place. No focus, and a bit frantic.

I feel pulled in so many different directions, and I feel like because I don't have the time or energy to focus on only one direction or role, I feel constantly guilty that I'm failing in every area of my life. I am struggling to remember my identity, who I am, while juggling the many different aspects of my life. But I endeavor to always be optimistic, to be hopeful, and rejoice in my life, because I'm holding to the promise, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength"! (Philippians 4:13)

I am the Cowgirl in the City, and I don’t have one role, but many, and I’m struggling to find balance.

Growing up on a cattle ranch I learned that you have to do the work that you’re presented with. Several times a day ranchers have to change roles, from veterinarian doctoring a sick calf, to accountant and bookkeeper of the ranch finances, from farmer cutting hay to roper catching calves to mechanic fixing the old feed truck. Other roles might include politician, agriculture advocate, marketing, advertising, etc. Like my father and the many roles he has to play as a cattle rancher, now that I’m a cowgirl living in the city, I’ve had to adapt to my many roles that I have to play.

If you’re interested in the life of a part time law student struggling to be a good student and still manage a career, a marriage, a new family, while maintaining some sense of creative outlets, please, continue to read my blog!

Dad used to say, "On the ranch we get more done by 8:00a.m. than most people get done all day."
While my day seems to start the same time as it used to on the ranch, no longer am I getting up early to saddle the horses and ride out after the cows. These days I'm wrangling my baby boy, saddling up my car to hit that hour long commute to the office. While the job is different, I'm still a cowgirl at heart, and I think the only feasible way to fully satisfy the myriad passions and interests in my life, I may need to start getting up earlier in the morning just to get things done.


Amy Lou said...

I'm also a cowgirl living in a city and have the same issues with my blog. It's still very scattered, and I'm so overwhelmed by it that I haven't updated it in months, even though I have so many things to write about. The point for me is to get it out until it all makes sense, comes into focus. I'm not giving up on it. I'll continue to read your blog. Hang in there!

Cowgirl in the City said...

thanks for sticking with me! I agree with you, get it out there and hopefully it will come into focus!

Nicole said...

I'm going to comtinue reading too! I look forward to seeing your blog in my little box. I never know what to expect and I like it! It's a great way to see what you're up too now. Plus the pics of Daniel are way too adorable to resist!

d.a.r. said...

Oh gosh, my blog is the polar opposite of cohesive, ha! I don't have one specific topic or theme, I just babble about what is important that day. It's a great outlet and a wonderful way to record memories! I will keep reading, whatever you are blogging about. You are a wonderful writer and have a fantastic voice!

Amanda said...

I can so understand that'll find a groove :)

Green Goose said...

I am so happy to find your blog!


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